There are plenty of perfect moms out there. Don’t believe me? Check Instagram. There, there is no shortage of women who are full time moms still running businesses and breastfeeding for milk banks in their spare time. And if you’re struggling, like my wife and I have at times, to even keep up with the dishes, know that it’s not the perfect bento boxes or the best homemade Halloween outfit that makes you the perfect mom.
In fact, the basics are a lot more important than you think to being a good parent. And I’m going to go beyond basics, to the roots. And the roots are “what do you believe in? I mean, everyone wants to believe in something, but very few of us can write down, on paper, what we believe in.
And once you do that, you impart this belief on to your family. There is no separating the two, and that’s important because a lot of times we think one thing and preach another. Here’s my example: I want my children to grow up with a good group of friends, and have fun activities outside the house. But what I practice is often staying in, working on things around here. So, being self aware, I am constantly aware of the need to get out of the house and do things. Sure, it’s not 100% out doing things, but I try to balance that belief.
For a lot of us, most I would say, it’s limiting the consumer culture that bleeds into our lives from every cut. If we want out children to have a foundation in family versus television, we need to turn off the TV. If we want our children to emphasize exercise, we need to get out and throw a ball with them. And being a good parent is learning to adult. And adulting is limiting the voices in our heads. Not because we want to snuff out all of the improvisation, and spontaneous-ness in us, but because to believe in something, we can’t believe in everything.