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A Daily Parenting Advice Podcast. Non-Pretentious. In less than 3min a day!

S5-Ep268 - It’s not Fair!

September 21, 2019

 There are not one but two stories that I’d like to tell you. And I’ll give you the conclusion of them both. They both end up with the phrase, “But it’s not fair!” And you may have a story of your own child who has started, like mine, to verbalize everything that doesn’t go his way, as ‘not fair’.

Ok, the first story – A local private school – a charter school – this is a school that takes public tax dollars and uses it in conjunction with private dollars to make a school of their choosing. This private school has kids that want to play sports. But the private school doesn’t have a sports program. So they send their kids over to the public school to play on their sports teams. Well, recently the public sports teams have had too many kids on them to play everyone – a common situation in a lot of schools. And the public school district’s policy is that kids who attend that school, get first priority for the sports teams. This also seems fair – if the charter school want’s their kids to play sports, they can, like the public schools, run their own sports programs.

  So when a few of the high schoolers at the charter school didn’t make the team this year, they were unhappy. And the local news picked up the story and had quite a few people interviewed for it. And what stuck out to me were all of the parents quotes. A lot, probably most basically said, “It’s not fair”. They said them in their own words, like “He’s worked so hard for this”, and “they’re all just kids”. But the point is, it’s the adults in the room which complain just like my 5 year old. “It’s not fair”.

  Where does this complaining come from? What’s the harm in it anyway?

   Well whining is literally being passed down from generation to generation right here. Right in front of you. We, as parents want to raise kids able to handle life’s curveballs. And what’s the lesson here? Well apparently it’s that parents can decide to send their kids to a special private school, and when their chosen school doesn’t perform as they want, they can say it’s not fair that another school isn’t picking up the slack for their kids. These parents are teaching a self-centered focus. They are teaching what is wrong with the world today – Republican’s are nuclear option everything if it doesn’t meet their goals. Democrats are pushing to the fringe to get airtime. Parents are bitching that “it’s not fair” – in their whiny-est voices. The world needs to slow down a bit and go back to 1905 when Gifford Pinchot coined the term, “The greatest good of the greatest number in the long run”. We need to be raising a generation that thinks beyond themselves, and complaining about unfair results from decisions that we, alone make is not the way to do it.

 Thanks for listening.

I know that as parents of younger children you may not be doing this, but just keep this in mind as you go through the week, see if there are any examples you can set for your children that are for the greater good – and be sure to explain that to them.