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A Daily Parenting Advice Podcast. Non-Pretentious. In less than 3min a day!

S5-Ep267 - Creating Mutual Respect

September 20, 2019

 Yesterday we got a free lesson all from the dust jacket of a book. Pretty thrifty huh? And I know some people may – and definitely the author – say that you have to read the book to get the full story. First, I don’t claim to be an expert by reading the dust jacket. I claim to find things to work on – and a rough navigational direction, from a dust jacket.

 And in all cases, everyone is different. We will all find our own paths for these things, no matter what’s in the details of the book.  But here are a few specific ideas and notes on what to do and not to do.  

   For this, I went to research on teachers. Teachers, God bless them, can deal with a gaggle of girls and a bunch of boys all day every day. Then often go home to children of their own. Amazing. So what do they do to hold down a classroom?

Well on day one, many-a-teacher has laid down the law. They set expectations early. And so it should be with parents. Except there are thousands of expectations and no clear way to get them into a 10 commandments. Do your best. Try to communicate them. The more you do, the better.  Second, Master teachers utilize every minute in the day to connect with students, monitor instruction, and push each student to their potential. But there is a principle of yin and yang here – You have to listen too, and I think that balance is what makes a master teacher.

   In the alternative camp, I can think of teachers whom I did not respect. Who sucked. And when I was reading research on teachers, I realized that the sucky ones were fake. I didn’t explicitly realize it at the time, b/c teachers were to be held in respect in my world, but one of them claimed he was teaching us, and promptly turned on the news every day. At which point he sat in the back of the classroom and did whatever he wanted. He claimed he cared – but he was fake and every kid in the class knew it deep down. So the answer is you have to model it – to get it.

   So be real with your kids. If you’re faking it, take a break and try to come back with some real interest to gain that mutual respect.