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A Daily Parenting Advice Podcast. Non-Pretentious. In less than 3min a day!

S5-Ep264 - Be the Parent you want your child to be as an adult

September 17, 2019

 Yesterday we talked about how kids see the world differently. My oldest was really upset at a few things that had happened earlier in the day, and he thought it was unfair. Yes, kid, life is unfair. I think that started to sink in to me when I was in high school – so for my kids – we have a long way to go before things stick. Still, I’m not giving up. Good habits, like working with our kids; trying to understand them, pay dividends at all times, but may not solve the specific issue you are working on at the moment. Keep trying.

 So if kids really see the world different then aren’t they technically hypocrites?

   The article (check our show notes) puts it like this; “Kids might be hypocrites because they don’t have coping mechanisms to handle their own self-interest, not because of any failure to understand basic notions of fairness or good play. For parents, that means that it’s critical to show children what it means to act of moral impulses even when doing so is inconvenient or counter to one’s desires. These are moments of potential learning.

  • So in my words: Kids don’t lack knowledge – they lack coping mechanisms. And the solution – well I’m saving it for a quote at the end. Let’s take another example of a problem, and then we’ll get there:

The article goes on to say:

   “If dad speaks highly of women and feminism, but doesn’t take on any of the emotional labor of running the household, something very different than equality is being taught to children,” says Lioi, adding that parents ultimately have no choice but to lead by example if they don’t want to raise a hypocrites.

                And that’s pretty powerful to me. Mark Winkler – an author who runs a program for fathers in LA, wraps it all up nicely. He says, “Be the parent you want your child to be as an adult”.