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A Daily Parenting Advice Podcast. Non-Pretentious. In less than 3min a day!

S5-Ep263 - You’re seeing different worlds

September 16, 2019

 Today’s tidbit comes from an article By Lauren Vinopal. I’ll link it in the show notes, which you can find on youtube- in the description or on our website. Www.theparentingfastcast.com.

She starts out her article with a great first sentence. “Children don’t have to understand what the word hypocrisy means to know a double standard when they see one.” And man is that true. My five year old had a melt down – on top of a meltdown the other night, and while the airing of the grievances happened, the main ones that I thought were tops were all equality things between him and his brother.

Sibling rivalry is real people.

But even though these, somewhat laughable, and always explainable travesties were easily explainable to adults , they are the world of the child.

 So how can we bridge these gaps? How to connect the dots between my adult mind which says; yea – life isn’t fair and there were reasons I had to take away toys and my son’s mind which says, “this is totally unfair!”

  There’s a reason that phrase is so popular with the kids. They feel it!

Lioi (a researcher in this article) suspects children pick up unfairness as toddlers —as young as 2-years-old — and come to understand hypocrisy better as they age and gain a grasp on language and empathy. However, additional research suggests that children don’t actually care that much about hypocrisy until they are roughly eight — at which point some kids start caring a lot. For this reason, six-year-olds often engage in unfair behavior themselves. There is a disconnect between understanding and action when self-interest is in play. They hold dad to account, but not themselves. 

And that’s about as far as I can get you all today. The awareness that you have isn’t in the genes of your offspring. It’s learned. Nature and Nurture. And we’ll get into a few more specifics on equality and we’ll turn the spotlight back on us tomorrow. Until then, just watch. Watch your kid and see if you can spot a few examples, preferably when they’re angry or frustrated, where their view of the situation is completely different than yours. We’ll try to use it, tomorrow.