We were having dinner the other day, and I noticed that my wife and I had been talking, without interruption, for probably 3 minutes. And dinners lately have been a barrage of kids trying to get their words in over the other. So when my 5 year old waited to jump in the conversation, well it could’ve been that he was busy thinking of his own things (this may even be the most probable), but it could have been actually sitting back for a minute – or three. The point is that we, as adults need to recognize these good things. And thank them. Positive praise, in this case for the tough work of not interrupting, saying, “I know waiting to tell us about your day was hard, thanks for waiting.”
But there are other good ways to boost your kids self-confidence besides being direct. Here are a few more sneaky ways to get it done.
And the idea behind this one is that what we overhear is far more potent than what we are told directly. Make praise more effective by letting your child “catch you”. For example, if you see a grandparent in person often (or even if you see them on facetime), tell the grandparent about something you were proud of your son or daughter doing. Tell them directly, like your child wasn’t there, so that they hear about themselves in the third person, and they “catch you” cheering on the good things they do.