This is basically the episode that I didn’t want to write. And a good rule in life is often, “If you are having trouble getting started on it, and are actively delaying it”, then it’s probably important for you to do. It’s likely important because you’re holding yourself back, not because it’s hard.
In fact, saying the words, “I’m sorry” are often the hardest to say. And I’m at the top of that list of people who have difficulty. And when I try to count the times I’ve modelled this “I’m sorry” behavior, I come up pretty short.
But today, I’m going to take my son aside and tell him I messed up. Back in Episode 38, I told a story about losing my temper when he growled at me. I know, sounds silly, but I’m sure I’m not the only one to lose my shit over something small.
And I want to note that I’m not doing this because I want to. Yes, I have a desire and am trying to raise productive citizens who reach their full potential, and modelling the behavior of apologies and admitting when we’re wrong is the correct way to do this. I understand all that. But in this case, my own selfishness gets in the way of a goal I know is better. I only apologize because I had some notes in my episode log that Fessing up when you blow it is the best way to show your child how and when they should apologize. And I’ve made my kids apologize a lot of times.
But sometimes that’s the way it works – We expect to listen to some podcasts, read some articles and then we will happily follow all advice given, as if we’re transformed by an article or two.
Not the case.
Sometimes we just have to do it, and maybe eventually we’ll start to be better at it. It’s very much like exercise. No one wants to go out in the cold for a run, even though we all know it would be good for us. But if we step outside our comfort zone and do something that’s hard, we stand a better chance at success. What’s hard for you guys and gals out there? Ok – now work on that, if you can.