The Parenting FastCast

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August 3, 2019  

S5-Ep219 - Obsessed with Losing

August 3, 2019

 Yesterday, we talked about losing a battle. In our household, I got growled at, something that set me off for some reason (I’m sure there’s something deeper there), but in that podast I said, “In fact I need to be over the top, maybe obsessed with losing”

  Why would I say this? What did I mean? And what are some examples?

   So Why would I say this: Well, I said it because it applies to so many areas of our kids lives.

Let’s start out small. Holding a spoon. I think most of us spend about 10 seconds trying to help our kids hold a spoon and then, in my case, I have to spend the next 6 months holding myself back from cleaning up all the messes. In this case, we can’t teach them to use a spoon by hand feeding them. You have to let them do it. And in those instances, it seems natural (minus the messes). It something our kids want to learn, and we want them to learn it. But the water muddies come kindergarten when his lunchboxes don’t come home for days, and your getting tired of sending the backups. A lot of parents are worried about what it would look like if their kid came to school with a variety of plastic baggies instead of a nice tidy box. But now is the time to do it. Now is the time to fail. There is no better time to fail then today. Because the price of failure tomorrow is always higher. Tomorrow (and I’m talking 5 years not tomorrow) tomorrow it might be forgetting his sports bag every day and you have to leave work and drive it to him. Or 10 years it might be forgetting the car registration, and getting pulled over and his car impounded. These things grow, only because they weren’t allowed to fail earlier in life. And this ties back to helicopter and bulldozer parenting – all are areas where we as parents tried too hard to help. And not letting them lose today has higher costs tomorrow. So next time your child leaves his lunchbox at school. Tell him it’s no problem, but you aren’t going to send a sack, he can use his backpack, until the other one comes back home.