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A Daily Parenting Advice Podcast. Non-Pretentious. In less than 3min a day!

S5-Ep205 - Maslow’s Hierarchy – 3,&4

July 20, 2019

 Yesterday we continued on the “basics train” of learning some psych 101 stuff. Specifically, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. The part that made it really cool to me was when I learned that some of this psych stuff explains some of our behaviors as a parent. That example yesterday of why we scold our kids and create order – is not always for our benefit, but also for theirs. I was able to let a little bit of guilt go (though not all of it).

 Ok, let’s cover 3,4,5 of the pyramid – again, where you have to build the bottom levels of a pyramid before you can build on top of it. Warning – we may go into tomorrow for #5, because these get harder as we go up.

 

Maslow’s level number 3: Love and belonging: In two words. Social Media. Ok, so you can’t get all of this met from social media, but Instagram does a great job at hacking our brains. Seriously – they hack our brains. And kids are the easiest to hack – but early on, when they don’t have phones, we are their friends. We give them trust, we show them love, and they give love back. They are part of our clan, our family tribe. While we are often fairly decent at showing love, One area we don’t always think about is trust. I find trust is often easily taught through chores. Not the quantity of chores, but just asking a child to do something and then letting him/her do it and saying thanks. If your kid does it without questioning – you’re parent of the year. If they don’t, my recommendation is to say, “I’d be happy to get you your dinner after the dog has had his dinner”. What you’re saying is that I trust you will do it – I believe in you – and there are rules to being in this house (ie: Feeding the dog – again back to level 2 – building order and stability).

Maslow’s level 4 is “Esteem Needs”. This is the desire for Mastery, Independence, and status or prestige.

At this time – parenting a 5 and 3 y/o. I can focus elsewhere, but I see my child mastering Legos, and us complimenting that. And I think that’s great. The only thing I would add here is that while you may feel that your child is mastering something – they may not. Really. Children don’t always speak the emotional languages that we do. So ask your child how they felt when they completed their drawing- legos – or playhouse setup. They need to learn to feel mastery, and that’s how we can most help.

 

Tune in tomorrow for Level 5 – And if we’ve helped you over the past month, we’d be super happy if you could tell a friend or husband about us.