Yesterday you may remember that we talked about doing something every day. Getting just a touch better in 3 minutes from this podcast (and then using the advice in the situations your kids are going to put you in anyway). So you need something – and we’ve got it.
Some of you might be saying, “You’re a bit light on details Mr Fastcast” I need some stuff that works now and works like magic. You’re saying, “My kids are making me crazy!”, or ‘They don’t follow my advice at all!’ or ‘All of my friends seem to have their shit together and I reheated some nuggets today, enjoyed the silence, and called it a victory!”
Ok, here’s the magic.
In four words. Here it is. --- leave out the emotion. -- - That’s it. That’s all you have to do in a majority of situations. It works with 4 year olds. It works with 13 year olds. It’s fucking magic.
No – this isn’t some power play parenting hack against your tiny dictator. It’s actually based on some people’s life’s work and that’s cool – but we’re not here to read you the paper.
Leaving out the emotion is when one of your kids hits the other one (or takes something, or taddles) for the seventh time today and you’re ready to lose your shit. You have to step back and say something calm. Anything really. I don’t care what your answer is --- that’s the crazy part --- it’s not so much about the answer as the way you deliver it. In this case a simple “Come here Johnny. Time out for you” – and that’s it; walk away. The kids get two things from this. 1) They learn they can’t rattle you. And 2) You are serious about what you say.
And that’s the goal – eliminate the drudgery of yelling back – of constant fights and succeeding at raising kids who can making good choices.
We’ll leave it at that – there’s a whole year’s worth of stuff to unwrap on top of this but Rome wasn’t built in a day. Catch you on twitter or facebook, and definitely tomorrow.