The other day, while on a business trip I was in a Mexican restaurant in the Midwest. Minding my own business, I didn’t think much about the two middle aged women who sat down behind me. The tables at this restaurant were very close together so they were close, and they talked loudly. At some point they started talking about their children. And one of the women said, yea, it’s been a tough year for us. At which point she proceeded to talk about how her daughter had been arrested in Alabama for a DWI. And paraphernalia. And resisting arrest.
About how her daughter told her the only thing she could remember was her fathers phone number and the mother had told her, “Do you know how pissed I would have been had I had to come down there to bail your ass out of jail?”. And there were more stories, by both mothers, of evictions, moving across the country for an internet lover. Moving back a week later, and it goes on.
And I sat there and thought, “If my kid turns out like this; shoot me”.
Because to have birthed a tortured soul into the world who creates chaos on the level that these women’s offspring have – well that’s inexcusable in my book.
But in some ways, every parent out there has built a chaos factory. The question is how do we deal with it?
And for that, I merge this story into the Tim Cook (or Tim Apple as some know him), Tim Cook, the head of Apple, gave the 2019 Stanford commencement speech.
He said, “… Too many seem to think that good intentions excuse away harmful outcomes.
But whether you like it or not, what you build and what you create define who you are.
It feels a bit crazy that anyone should have to say this. But if you’ve built a chaos factory, you can’t dodge responsibility for the chaos. Taking responsibility means having the courage to think things through.
And there are few areas where this is more important than …. “
Tim was talking about privacy (primarily in the tech sector), but I think it applies best .. to parenting.
Will you have the courage to think things through? And we are here to help you with this. This podcast is here to help you navigate away from the emotional roller coaster and provide proven advice.
Will you take responsibility?
I think you can and I think you will.