There’s a TED talk out on the youtubes. I’ll include a link to it … on my youtube account. My youtube account and our website house our show notes, so wherever you consume content, please bring us along.
Well the title of this TED talk – pretty straightforward: How to raise successful kids -- without over-parenting | Julie Lythcott-Haims. I felt a connection right away when she said, she never intended to set out to be a parenting expert. Yea, that was me too. A most unlikely person to be giving parenting advice. Not because we know too little, but likely because the more you start to know about any one subject, the more you see all endless possibilities within it. And that can be daunting for me.
The second thing she said that I understood: “The checklisted childhood”. You know, that list that we all believe is out there, maybe tucked away in a college admission counselor’s desk, which, if you can complete every item on that list, with distinction, then we can get our kid into that very fine university.
But we also have that question in the back of our heads, “What’s it all for?”
Success to you and I isn’t necessarily Duke, or Cornell. In fact, a lot of people I know would kick themselves in the ass had they become the type of person who is solely defined by their college.
In her speech, Julie says; maybe we're afraid they won't have a future we can brag about.
And that sounds so 2019. To be a good parent you have to have things to brag about … but not brag too much.
I’m a little 50/50 on this one: I mean, if parenting is the most important job we'll ever have then why the hell shouldn't I do everything in my power to succeed at it?
And I will continue to try. And I will tell you all to try.
But I think hoping for a degree of perfection. (One that we weren't asked to do either), is too much.
You know one thing I bet none of us have ever told our children? "You've done enough"
And you wonder why the millennials lead in anxiety diagnoses.
Julie says, “If you have the courage to look at it. We're saying "You can't handle this without me".”
That’s a damaging thing to tell a child, and tomorrow we’ll be back here for part 2 of this response to help you understand How to raise successful kids -- without over-parenting.
We’ll see you tomorrow.