There’s another father out there doing some great things, teaching the parents that come after him some lessons he’s learned. His name Is Mark Winkler, his Instagram handle is “Fatherhood Circle”. He’s based out of LA. And the guy has some really good lessons.
His latest story of loss merged a couple of topics. One that I preach and another that I hadn’t thought of.
The loss that he talked about was his daughter’s hamster.
I know anti-climactic. But to an 8 year old, that could be a big deal and is likely a teachable moment.
My initial take was asking myself if I’m prepared to handle a moment like this. Because we aren’t just born ready and perfect. People make that mistake – overnight success is what it’s called. And it doesn’t exist. We only become success through practice and that’s why my lesson is to start acting correctly – early. This meant ‘start reading books to my kids when they were one’. Because if I didn’t do it then, I likely wouldn’t ever start. This meant letting my children make messes at the table when attempting to use silverware, because if I didn’t let them then, I would be feeding them for life. And in Mark’s lesson to me, I need to pay attention to what’s important to them. Because if I don’t now, I won’t be able to do it when their pet hamster dies and they are grieving and I am internally celebrating.
Mark’s take is a lot stronger. A lot deeper, likely more impactful long term. And it makes me feel like I’m teaching the steps to a dance. While he’s dancing.
Mark says, “When asked why I am helping to facilitate this celebration my reply was, “because it is important to my daughter and I want my daughter to know what is important to her, I will do my best to make it happen. I want her to understand whoever says they love her, will do the same.
See – schooled. This is why we do what we do. Because as important as finding a mate for ourselves was or is. It’s important deep down that our children find mates that support them, make them happy, and do their best to make it all happen. So that’s how you do it. You model it.
The future needs that.