One question for you: “Who are you?” Identity relates to our basic values that dictate the choices we make (e.g., relationships, career). These choices reflect who we are and what we value.
However, few people choose their identities. Instead, they simply internalize the values of their parents or the dominant cultures (e.g., pursuit of materialism, power, and appearance). Sadly, these values may not be aligned with one’s authentic self and create unfulfilling life. In contrast, fulfilled people are able to live a life true to their values and pursue meaningful goals.
- That was an excerpt from “psychology today” and it gives the simple binary choice that we are or we aren’t in line with our true values.
And it makes you wonder who is living a life that isn’t aligned with their true values? Who are these suckers?
And it may just be one of us. You see,
▪ 57% of people identify as "saver". A saver as in the money sense – are you a spender or a saver?
Yet Huff Post says
▪ 39% have enough money in savings to cover an unexpected 1000 bill
So someone is lying. If 57% say their a saver, but only 39% of people actually are – someone’s lying.
- First, everyone dismisses these 61% of people who can’t cover a 1000$ as people who are bad with money. But that’s not always the case.
- Ok, here’s where we’re going to dive deep and .
▪ Hanlon’s Razor states that we should not attribute to malice that which is more easily explained by stupidity. In a complex world, using this model helps us avoid paranoia and ideology. By not generally assuming that bad results are the fault of a bad actor, we look for options instead of missing opportunities. This model reminds us that people do make mistakes.
So these people identify as savers, but let’s assume life got in the way and they couldn’t cover that $1,000, right now.
And in parenting – don’t assume that the other parents are just mean or other people’s kids are despicable. We’re all lying to ourselves about something. And our job as adults is to see the reality through the fog. So what is your standard? Are you living up to it? And what could you do live more in-line with your true values?