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117Episodes
Kids & Family

A Daily Parenting Advice Podcast. Non-Pretentious. In less than 3min a day!

Episodes

 I have mentioned Mr. Money Mustache on the podcast before. I bring him up here, but probably in any situation, because he’s a perfect blend of a total outsider, someone who can see the world through the fog, and you can’t ignore him – because he’s successful. Or as successful as we assume anyone is that retired at 30 something. His perspective here is important because he’s that acceptable outsider.

 So what does he have to say? And are there any valid points that he has?

   Well all you have to know about his take on the modern – school was invented to keep workers in-line – he says, “Fuck that” so you know he’s a major contrarian.

Still, contrarians get things right occasionally. Wrong occasionally too. But I like his general take.

Humans are naturally curious and energetic creatures, and if you set us free in the right environment, we will get to work learning, producing, and having a great time at it.

He says, “If you start with the natural hunger kids have towards learning, and subtract out some of the biggest obstacles (lineups, waiting for the slow trudge of big-class teaching, boring and repetitive activities), you find that you can exceed the actual academic learning contained in a typical school day with just an hour or two of concentrated effort.”

  And I want to take a detour here and say this is generally true for a lot of office jobs too. We as adults can often times do the same work with just an hour or two of concentrated effort.

 Anwyay, I’ll end with,
“This fits well with the modern and future workforce, where employers are looking for people who can adapt, create, and produce, rather than simply follow rules. But even using the word “employers” is shortsighted in my book. I’m not teaching my kid to be an employee – I’m teaching him to be a creator…”

  He goes onto talk about his desire and information on home-schooling. And I think we have a few home schooling parents listening here. And congrats on that. But it’s not for me. I’ll take the unconstructive school time with the constructive. I’ll supplement and succeed. All in an effort to balance everyone’s lives in my family.

  But the main and original point is important. Humans are naturally curious and energetic creatures. Your kid is even more so than you think. So let’s not stifle that. Let’s encourage it.

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April 23, 2019

S5-Ep117 - School Lunches

 I have a love hate relationship with school lunches. I generally make my kids lunches every morning. I pack the healthiest things I can think of and by mid week, I’m frantically cooking more food for my massive eaters. I’ve learned to stay ahead of the curve, but only by working, working, and working.

And let’s be honest, a lot of people don’t want to make the sacrifices that are needed to work and work and work on lunches. They just don’t value the quality of lunches that are made at home. I understand, respectfully disagree, and move on. But on Friday’s we let my kids get pizza lunches at school.

I’m not a monster. But 1 day out of 5 is still 20% and if you told a kid he could eat 20% of his daily calories from laffy taffy and coca cola, most parents would be offended and not let that happen. But when actual studies show what’s eaten, it’s well over 50% of intake that comes from things that parents say they wouldn’t let their kids eat often. So there’s some lying to ourselves going on.

 But what this love & hate /(slash)/  exposes is that there are two ways to view this story and it’s very indicative of what’s going on in America.

  View one: Some ultra wackos say, it's your only job to feed your child. Take responsibility and it's not the government job to feed your kid. Literally, there’s a group of people out there touting ‘personal responsibility’ who’s logic next step is this. And of course these people rely most heavily on the governmental school lunch programs and standards, but that’s beside the point.

View two: can we come together for the collective good of all parents and provide another option besides us all having to make lunches each day? This is the idea of modern business – the idea that we can all chip in a little – maybe the same amount that it costs us to make lunch – but the efficiencies of doing lunch at scale means we can hire someone to do it for us and save time. This is, and I’m happy that society has done it, the way it’s worked so far.

But in this case standards need to be met and the standards that are out there are the cheapest ones possible; so that’s what we feed our kids with school lunches – the cheapest food possible. Is the cheapest option really what we want?

Michelle Obama said no, and advocated for healthier lunch options. And people were upset and fought back because she wanted out kids to eat better food. And finishing on a note from the book Hillbilly Elegy, “and we hate her for it—not because we think she’s wrong but because we know she’s right.”

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  I want to launch a mini-series. But not as a separate channel, and it really won’t seem that different than the normal episodes, but I the next 3 days should be focused loosely around education. This is more of a ‘big ideas’ series versus specific storytelling with my kids. So listen, absorb, decide for yourself and enjoy.

 

I respect Bill Gates. He's the OG of making something out of yourself. Zuckerberg may be the biggest thing since 2007, but Bill did it old school. He made a real physical product (a computer – many computers) and he was smarter than everyone else on the virtual side too. He wasn’t only good at that, he was good at scaling up a company that was later sued by many governments for monopolistic practices. He's done it. He's turned an idea (we all have ideas) into something real. Respect.

 And when he shifted his focus, fame, and friendships into philanthropy, well he became a legend. But he chose to take on the monster of education. What could go wrong?

  And as a son of a public school teacher, I’ve seen some, not all, of the inner workings of the education system.

Bill has spent 1.xx billion dollars trying to reform our school system and he's come up short. 1.xx billion!!

And it comes down to it, I think Bill missed a very crucial point about these kids. And that is that parents are their first, and main teachers.

There’s a book called “Hillbilly Elegy”, by JD Vance and a small section in there wraps up best what fearless leader Bill Gates missed.

In the book, when JD goes back to speak to the teachers at his old school, a teacher says, "They want us to be shepherds to these kids. But no one wants to talk about the fact that many of them are raised by wolves."

 

Don't be a wolf.

 

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  There’s another father out there doing some great things, teaching the parents that come after him some lessons he’s learned. His name Is Mark Winkler, his Instagram handle is “Fatherhood Circle”. He’s based out of LA. And the guy has some really good lessons.

  His latest story of loss merged a couple of topics. One that I preach and another that I hadn’t thought of.
 The loss that he talked about was his daughter’s hamster.

I know anti-climactic. But to an 8 year old, that could be a big deal and is likely a teachable moment.

My initial take was asking myself if I’m prepared to handle a moment like this. Because we aren’t just born ready and perfect. People make that mistake – overnight success is what it’s called. And it doesn’t exist. We only become success through practice and that’s why my lesson is to start acting correctly – early. This meant ‘start reading books to my kids when they were one’. Because if I didn’t do it then, I likely wouldn’t ever start. This meant letting my children make messes at the table when attempting to use silverware, because if I didn’t let them then, I would be feeding them for life. And in Mark’s lesson to me, I need to pay attention to what’s important to them. Because if I don’t now, I won’t be able to do it when their pet hamster dies and they are grieving and I am internally celebrating.

 

Mark’s take is a lot stronger. A lot deeper, likely more impactful long term. And it makes me feel like I’m teaching the steps to a dance. While he’s dancing.

Mark says, “When asked why I am helping to facilitate this celebration my reply was, “because it is important to my daughter and I want my daughter to know what is important to her, I will do my best to make it happen. I want her to understand whoever says they love her, will do the same.

See – schooled. This is why we do what we do. Because as important as finding a mate for ourselves was or is. It’s important deep down that our children find mates that support them, make them happy, and do their best to make it all happen. So that’s how you do it. You model it.

The future needs that.

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 I am male. And there are some gender stereotypes I’ve grown up with. One is that the business world is male. And that it’s a cutthroat game.

 But the business of parenting is gender neutral – if you’re hip in the 20-teens. Or Gender fluid – if you’re forward thinking. I say gender fluid because sometimes the mom teaches something, sometimes it’s dad who does it – and in one year from now, those roles could very well be swapped – just because each parent has a good perspective on things.

Anyway, I bring up business because there are parallels everywhere – other parallels are medicine, science, finance, art, psychology – that we can learn from. This is why life is a never ending search for meaning – there’s so much out there. 

This is an excerpt from an article titled: The Most Valuable Lessons from 6 Top Entrepreneurs.  Then we’ll relate it back to parenting. 

Danny Morel (an entrepreneur) says,

 An early career mistake was fueling my business with too much personal time and energy. I created a paradigm where I was the single motor driving the ship. With this mindset, I quickly found myself working seven days a week, which was unsustainable and very difficult to duplicate.

My businesses are now fueled by leadership, people, and systems. Infusing these three tenets into your business model can be game-changing for growth and lasting success.

Leadership means imparting the vision, being precise with your team’s role, and cutting them loose to execute their objectives. Show your team you trust them (which starts by trusting yourself), and let them develop into key players in your organization.

 THIS IS GREAT IF YOU'RE FEELING BURNED OUT.

I have definitely found myself working 7 days a week, feeling out of control, unsustainable.

And I have to step back and say, yes, I’m doing the hard work now (and that’s great – suffer now to make the future better), but people genuinely run themselves into dehydration trying to do everything for their families.
I don’t know your situation or your answer, but I know that we all need to take a step back and see what we can unload from our plate – because being the linchpin can break you. What can you do to create the family of your dreams?

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https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-perspec-goldberg-law-morality-trump-campaign-finance-1212-20181211-story.html

 This article is based off of a 1978 commencement address at Harvard University. But hang in there with me!! That sounds boring as hell. But if you want to raise ‘stand up’ kids. Kids with a moral compass.  Hear me out.

 The premise of the speech lamented how in the Western hemisphere, law had replaced higher notions of morality.

   He said in his speech: "Any conflict (in the West/USA) is solved according to the letter of the law and this is considered to be the supreme solution," "If one is right from a legal point of view, nothing more is required. Nobody will mention that one could still not be entirely right, and urge self-restraint, a willingness to renounce such legal rights, sacrifice and selfless risk. It would sound simply absurd."

An example always helps: So let’s take Bill Clinton. I need not say more. You’re thinking of Monica Lewinski. And it’s a point that conservatives once understood. "If he will lie to or mislead his wife and daughter, those with whom he is most intimate, what will prevent him from doing the same to the American public?"

And they were right. And now conservatives have turned a blind eye to all the nefarious acts of the current president. But they shouldn’t. Just because an action won’t get you convicted of a crime doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.

Nothing your child does is likely illegal and yet we all seem to have plenty of input onto what they shouldn’t be doing. Don’t yell at your brother, pick up your toys, finish your dinner. No crimes there.

But if you raise a child – or act in a way that only pays attention to what’s legal – or worse act in a way that only measures what will and won’t be caught. Well, I’ll pin the fall of American superiority directly you. Because a world full of shady businesspeople hiding behind lawyers gives us more Robert Krafts, more Matt Lauers, even more Michelle Duggars.

 

As Jonah Goldberg of the Chicago Sun Times writes: I am arguing that we’ve lost anything remotely like a moral consensus in this country because legalism has crowded out morality.

 

The question is what culture do you want your children to live in? And that won’t be answered with a book of laws. The culture of tomorrow will be written by your actions as a parent, the example you set when tough situations come your way. There’s always a set of eyes watching you from now on. Act like you have a moral compass.

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 In an effort to step our book reading up to our 5 (nearly 6) year old’s level, my wife bought some basic chapter books. One of which is a book titled Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. It’s broken into 8 chapters, which is a mind blowing concept to a five year old on the surface. And each of the chapters is a kid and their problem.  Such as the ‘never want to take a bath kid’ and the ‘never want to share kid’.

 But the crazy thing about the book is the solutions to these problems.

   All are the ingenious solutions of Mrs. Piggle Wiggle and all follow a very similar path. Let’s get into an example so we can get to some interesting observations. At least interesting to me.

The first example I’ll use is the ‘never want to go to bedders’  A group of 3 well behaved siblings who get to 8 o’clock only to turn on the switch to whine and beg to stay up late. And Mrs Piggle Wiggle basically says to let them stay up late, but be sure to keep them on their schedules during the day. And in the end, the kids, who start out each night playing Parcheesi until they fall asleep on the game board, eventually go to birthday parties where they fall asleep in the middle of the magician’s act, and get so tired that they beg to go to bed.

The similarities between all these stories are this: The parents have to let the kid get way worse, before they can help them get better. And that takes a toll on us parents, but Mrs Piggle Wiggle ensures the mothers in the story that it may be a few days, but no permanent harm will be done, and the problem will be solved.

Each story is basically this rise to a climax, then the children figuring out that too much of what they want isn’t always a good thing.

Another observation is that there is no mention of TVs, screen times, even after school – the kids aren’t doing organized sports or piano lessons. They’re all playing around the neighborhood until supper time. The book was published in 1947, which explains a lot. But most of all to me, it explains that as a culture, parents had perspective. Perspective that they could not nag a child into stopping. Perspective that the community can help each of us.

 

And my perspective on reading this book to my child is that this book never says, “don’t stay up past your bed time”. It tells a story like the inuits do back in episode 89. It tells a story that if you nibble at your food for too long,  you’ll eventually be so weak you can’t do the things you want to do.

Those are timeless lessons. Now – we just have to apply them to the modern age.

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https://www.coffeecupsandcrayons.com/family-card-games-how-to-play-spoons/

https://www.itsalwaysautumn.com/play-california-speed-easy-card-game.html

 

 While I often times eschew technology related to our children – I don’t like my kids watching TV, I don’t let my kids get on an ipad very much. I understand that if we limit those things, we need to provide others. Or we need to provide our time to interact with them.

Card games are a good way to do that.

My dream is that when they get a bit older, 9,10 or so, that they want to play these games with their friends as a simple, fun, competitive way to interact face to face and see emotions in real life.

I’ve picked out two games which I think could be fun. I may not get into the full set of rules, but I’ll link the sites I got them from in the show notes. Show notes also available on youtube.

  The first game is called California speed. The rules are pretty simple and the game goes fast. It’s for 2 players.

You’ll need a full deck of cards. Each game takes a few minutes.

Shuffle a deck of cards. Deal all the cards out between two players, so each player ends up with half the deck. The object of the game is to get rid of all your cards. Whoever does so first wins the game.

You put down 4 cards face up. Between you and your opponent, there will be 8 cards up. If there are any that match, like two Kings, you take cards from your hand and you place them over the kings (again, face up). You keep on going until your out of cards or there are no matches on the table. If there are no matches you pile up the 4 piles in front of you (not your opponents 4) and add them to the bottom of your hand. It can get going fast!

 

The second game is Spoons.

You need a deck of cards and a bunch of spoons – one less spoon than the number of players.

For 5 people playing you’d gather up all the 2s,3s,4s,5s,6s.
Sit in a circle. Spoons in the middle. And deal 4 cards to each player.

The goal is to collect 4 of a kind.
And you do so by passing a card to the person on your left. Critical rule, make sure people are passing their card BEFORE they pickup the next one. Once you collect 4 of a kind, you grab a spoon, and the last person without a spoon has to sit out the next round.

We’ll catch you tomorrow.

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April 16, 2019

S5-Ep110 - Medicine Day

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/fever.html

 I want to take some time out of podcasting schedule to perform a physical. More like a checkup. A checkup on your knowledge of things related to children and sickness.

Because I know that all of us have had a kid come down with a fever and then wonder how many days we’ll let it go on before we take them to the doctor.

 What’s the standard line on fevers for children ~5-6 years old? Do you know?

   In healthy kids, not all fevers need to be treated. High fever, though, can make a child uncomfortable and make problems (such as dehydration) worse.

Ok, first thing. A fever over 102.2 (remember the rhyming twos there to see if it sticks. A fever over 102.2 – time to call the doc.   And note here, that should probably be an oral, rectal or under armpit measurement. temporal isn’t as accurate.

Fever under 102.2? It may be an issue still. Here are some additional pieces of info which may require you to call the doc. Note this list isn’t inclusive and I’m not a doctor. Call a doctor if you have concerns. I’ll reference where I got my information from in our show notes.

  • Refusing fluids. Problem.
  • Lasting diarrhea or vomiting. Problem.
  • Problem.
  • Specific complaint – like sore throat, ears, etc. Problem.
  • For kids over 2 – a fever after 72 hours. Problem.
  • Problem (except for my kids – who get quite a few rashes and the doc is like – yup. Not sure about those.) A majority are eczema, but still.

Again, those are call the doc issues. Get emergency care for things that are worse, such as headaches. Blue lips, nails, stiff necks, sluggishness, limpness. Again – not inclusive.

 

That’s it for today, we hope we brought this back into your memory banks. If you’re like me, you’ve been told all this before, but it’s good to have refreshers. We’ll catch you back here, tomorrow.

 

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April 15, 2019

S5-Ep109 - Science Day.

  Today we can teach you to be a magician to your child. And in the end they may learn something about science. Or at a minimum, be enthralled by science so that when they get to the periodic table later in life they might have a chance of getting past it without falling asleep.

Not a science person? We can help with these following ideas.

Here’s what you’ll need: Wool clothing works best, (though varying fabrics have varying affects). And an inflated balloon. Preferable a rubber balloon.

   Actually, this is a foolproof way to get your kid to look up to you. If the science experiment works – you’ve done magic. If it fails, well, my kids would be stoked to have a balloon.

Here’s how: Have your child rub the balloon on a wool sweater, scarf, hat, etc. Have them count to 20 while they do this. Here’s what’s happening at this moment: You’re creating static electricity by taking the negative electrons from the wool (a good giver of electrons) and they are hovering all around the outside of the balloon.

   Then run a steady, slow stream of water from the sink and have them hold the balloon close to the water without touching it.
  You’ll see that the water ‘bends’ toward the balloon.  

  All those negative electrons on the balloon are attracting the protons of the water molecules. Opposites attract. And you’ve shown that electromagnetism is a force that is real.

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The Beatles write:

There's nothing you can know that isn't known

Nothing you can see that isn't shown

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

It’s easy

All you need is love.

The Beatles were wrong. You need more than love. I know, I know; you want to believe it. I want to believe it.  But it’s well known that we all tend to believe articles on the web that reinforce our viewpoints. And when we hear something as simple and hopeful as “All you need is love”, we just dive right on in.

 But I think it can be dangerous.

  Ask anyone who has gone through a divorce not because they despised each other, but because they grew apart. Ask anyone who is parent to a sick child (like a really sick one in the hospital). Love isn’t enough. Medicine is needed.

I don’t want to be a downer on love.
But I want to upgrade the word “Nice”. “Nice” gets a bad rap. It’s the inferior version of love. It’s the fake version of acceptance. But it may be all we need.

You see, I’ve found that being nice is often times enough to start the ball rolling. I’ve found this out the hard way – by not being nice. At times to my wife. And probably to my kids at times.
Love is easy. I love my wife. I love my kids. But niceness is how we show it. So when we’re not nice, we’re not showing our love-even if it exists whole heartedly.

So if we’re nice when we’re not quite feeling it, it can better engage the other person receiving it. And that feedback loop builds on itself. And eventually, we get through it. We get through whatever we’re going through, they get to help us.

Maybe it’s was a bad day today, but I bet if you pick your kid up and give them a big hug, tickle them to get the innate laughter out of them, your day will turn around a lot quicker than sulking and moaning.

Be nice when you don’t want to and see the world change.

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"Top performers in every field--athletes, musicians, CEOs, artists--are all more consistent than their peers," writes James Clear, an author and speaker who studies the habits of successful people. "They show up and deliver day after day while everyone else gets bogged down with the urgencies of daily life and fights a constant battle between procrastination and motivation."

And I can guarantee that every one of us here have been bogged down with the urgencies of daily life and neglected our parenting responsibilities for a little bit. I’ve spoke about how I’ve seen it at sports practices, I’ve wrote about how I find myself zoning out when my kids recites what he ate for lunch to me – of which I packed for him.

So why do I keep bringing up habits, and the slow path to parenting success instead of parenting hacks?

 Well, I’m saying it’s hard. And that’s precisely why I keep bringing it up. Doing the hard things matter. And doing them more consistently, makes you a superstar.

The hard thing here is showing up, day after day. Reading to your child is a good example. My wife and I have made it a habit since they were tiny to read to them at bedtime. The main benefit here is the consistency and it’s only enabled because that’s just what we do. Not because we’re motivated to read children’s books each night.

   And does it pay off? Well, it can pay off in ways that you may not even know right now.

   I remember a story that Carson Daly told on air one time. He told about how he would hear his step-father get up for work at 5am every morning and get ready and leave the house and not return until late. And this consistent drive and desire to provide for his family instilled a work ethic in Carson that I’m going to assume exists to this day.  You don’t get to stay in Hollywood by being slacker or one hit wonder then fall behind.

   I’m sure there are other angles to this story – and some that could be negative. We all feel some amount of guilt about being away from our kids, but the point is that the consistency of what you do will affect what you teach your children. Your actions speak louder than your words. So decide what to be, and go be it, and then do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next.

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 One question for you:  “Who are you?”  Identity relates to our basic values that dictate the choices we make (e.g., relationships, career). These choices reflect who we are and what we value.

However, few people choose their identities. Instead, they simply internalize the values of their parents or the dominant cultures (e.g., pursuit of materialism, power, and appearance). Sadly, these values may not be aligned with one’s authentic self and create unfulfilling life. In contrast, fulfilled people are able to live a life true to their values and pursue meaningful goals.

  • That was an excerpt from “psychology today” and it gives the simple binary choice that we are or we aren’t in line with our true values.

  And it makes you wonder who is living a life that isn’t aligned with their true values? Who are these suckers? 

  And it may just be one of us. You see,

                ▪ 57% of people identify as "saver". A saver as in the money sense – are you a spender or a saver?

Yet Huff Post says

                                ▪ 39% have enough money in savings to cover an unexpected 1000 bill

So someone is lying. If 57% say their a saver, but only 39% of people actually are – someone’s lying.

  • First, everyone dismisses these 61% of people who can’t cover a 1000$ as people who are bad with money. But that’s not always the case.
  • Ok, here’s where we’re going to dive deep and .

                                                ▪ Hanlon’s Razor states that we should not attribute to malice that which is more easily explained by stupidity. In a complex world, using this model helps us avoid paranoia and ideology. By not generally assuming that bad results are the fault of a bad actor, we look for options instead of missing opportunities. This model reminds us that people do make mistakes.

                So these people identify as savers, but let’s assume life got in the way and they couldn’t cover that $1,000, right now.

                And in parenting – don’t assume that the other parents are just mean or other people’s kids are despicable. We’re all lying to ourselves about something. And our job as adults is to see the reality through the fog. So what is your standard? Are you living up to it? And what could you do live more in-line with your true values?

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https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/the-garyvee-audio/an-interview-with-sonya-YozTtNV2W_j/

 

Yesterday we talked about Gary V and timeless advice. Do the hard work. Always timeless. Now I want to add a disclaimer here about that. I’m not talking about doing hard work that is work for works sake. Taking a molehill and making a mountain out of it is not the point. But at some point you’ll need to put down the phone or cancel plans with your friends if deep down you know this is what your kid needs. That’s the hard work.

The real guts of today’s episode is about Gary’s specific advice on parenting. Now is Gary a great parent – I have no clue. But the guy has a real knack for cutting to the chase. For getting to the point and for nailing the hard things that we need to do as opposed to the fluff.  

 What’s he say?

  I focus in on three things that he said in this interview, I believe with an Australian mom podcasting duo. I’ll link the transcript in our show notes. Show notes available on our website or on YouTube – I put them on there because I think it’s a great central and accessible location for everything.

ONE:

GaryVee s says Teenagers are disconnecting from their parents because their parents are doing it wrong. Parents are parenting based off of what the judgement from other parents is/will be.

And while I may not know anything about teenagers, I do see parents doing things based off the judgement of other parents. Self Confidence for parents is key. You have to be able to able to put your kids long term as the focus. You have to be able to put yourself second … and that’s impossible for a lot of people if putting yourself second means appearing less cool in the social circles. Try.

TWO:

He says you need to listen. - zero judgements. -- pure love, teaching empathy, compassion. Then after you build an infrastructure around what they are (/what they are good at etc).

                I think this is great. And now is the time to do it. When our kids are young and don’t have a bad bone in their body – love, compassion is easier. And we need to listen – which means we need to be asking our kids. What to ask them – everything and anything. Pepper them with questions.

THREE:

                 Tactics are great but only if you believe it. Otherwise it's fake.

                To me, this one’s about all the parenting hacks you read online – They all claim to shortcut the process and get you the result. Gary V nails it here – yea if you believe in the long term goal; cool. Otherwise you’re fake.

                Gary finishes off saying “my 5y/o has a recital next Friday and I want to be there - I will not be there.

That's real. But I don't beat myself up.

Put your kid in the best position to have a healthy successful life - that is not attending every recital.

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I listen to a little bit of Gary Vaynerchuk. Now Gary V is an entrepreneur who’s running a media company right now. He’s blown up over the past few years and I think this is one case where youtube/social media/etc has got it right. Who doesn’t like that Jersey swagger he’s got to him, and he seems to have done it right. Raised in a middle class immigrant family, he’s put it all on the line, worked his butt off and amplified social to make his fame.

But his message is right on. In a world of instant gratification he says, do the hard stuff. In a world of likes and retweets, he talks about his old tweets which got 3 likes. And how doing those things, whether you have 3 followers or 3 million, well that’s the same. If you’re motivated by fame – you’ll always feel unpopular. But if you do it for you – that’s where the happiness lies.

But can his advice translate to parenting?

  I think so, I think timeless advice is timeless for a reason.

That timeless advice I focus on here: Do the hard work. He says, “And when you come out the other side, you will be an overnight success.”

My question is how long. How long do you have to do this hard work for your kid to come out the other side as a success?

Well if you believe one of my previous episodes – everyone’s running their own race. So it’s a bit hard to decide if you’re running a 3 year race, 7 year? 15 year?

You know how you take your car in and hope for 300$, then reason it'll probably be $500, and it turns out to be a 1000 and you’re pissed, but somehow you figure it out - that's similar to what we hope for when we wonder how long we have to put in this work of parenting. 1 more year? Until they start middle school? It’s probably more like 7 more years.

Sorry, but your kids success is a long way off. I don’t think you can take your foot off the accelerator until mid teens. But of course I don’t know.

Delayed gratification is tough to teach - harder to implement after living a life without it. I don't know what to tell you - other than - if this what you want - and you believe this is how you get there - then tell yourself ‘This is what it takes to get to the finish line’. Just like a marathon runner - yea those guys want to quit in the middle of the race - but they tell themselves that each step - no matter how painful - gets them to their finish line. What's your finish line? Will you step through the pain?

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